Stations of the Scale

A lifelong preoccupation with my weight has resulted in this exploration of my eating problem. The memories associated with old photographs help me understand why I overeat. The girl who tried to distance herself from conflicts at the dinner table is the same woman who today seeks solace from angry situations in secret candy eating. The toddler who was puzzled when both of her pieces of cheese disappeared today sometimes cannot believe how much food she has consumed during a binge.

Like many others, at age twelve I formed the idea that I was fat, which led to an obsession with losing weight. In my case, a doctor said I was overweight; for others, it has been societally generated. These attitudes were at odds with the family values I grew up with, which equated food with love and security and believed a chubby person was a healthy person.

Trying to diet has been very difficult, because I lie to myself and say, “I’ll just have one,” when in truth the bag should read, "one serving equals the whole package."

I live in hope that the day will come when everyone in the world has enough to eat AND that there is a cure for obesity.